Let's see. A wiry little weasel, or a big ol' bear? Hee hee hee hee.
Eeny meeny miney moe, catch a trucker by the toe, if he's fun don't let him go, eeny meeny miney moe, I always want to catch the very best one and you are IT!
Hee hee. I'm gonna GETCHA! Oh, yeah. It's your turn. Sorry, little guy, maybe next time it'll be you that I tickle and tickle. You did jump real nice, when I tested your belly. I'm going to remember you, weasel - yes I will - but you get to go free now, because I'm gonna get this trucker-bear. Hee hee. Tickle him and tickle him good...
You. Big ol' bear. I'm going to have so much fun. Hee hee hee. You didn't react as fast as the weasel did, but that doesn't fool me. Oh, no. Too much beer, and you get big around the middle. Soft. And you know what else? You better smoke like you're about to take a nice, long break from 'em, because you are. Now, I promise I'm gonna keep your mind off those cigarettes. Hee hee hee. You'll be all firm and tickly real soon. Count on me, Bear.
Oh, now, what was that? Did you tell him you're going to leave when your beer is all gone? Great. Such a good bear. Big, ticklish bear. I'll help you leave. Hee hee. We're going on a trip. You and me. Oh, yeah, trucker-bear. Now you just keep looking at the waitresses, okay? Those pretty breasts.
And I've got something for my ticklish bear. It's a pill. Little white pill for a big tickly trucker. Here it comes, bear. Up the chair leg and under the table. Keep looking over there. That's it. Around the edge, and right to your bottle -
Plunk!
Hee hee hee. It's in there. Catch a bear, make him sleepy. Take him away. Tickle him! Tickle, tickle, tickle. Your beer is going to help me now. Drink it...
Good job. Thank you. Nice bear, doing what I what - and later on, I'll tell you to laugh! Oh, yes. Laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh. You're gonna roar real nice for me, aren't you? And howl. Happy, happy and wild, that's my bear. Drink it all down.
And I don't think you know yet. Catch you, hide you, tickle you silly. Such a little pill. It's a bear trap. That's how I get you home, trucker-bear. I saw that - you're yawning. Time to go now, out to your truck, and fall asleep.
That's it... stand up, and say goodbye. You won't see your friends for such a long, long time. So many tickles. Hee hee hee. And get out to your cab while you can, or else I'll carry you. Big ol' bear.
There's another yawn. Such a helpful trucker-bear. Shut the door, light a smoke, sit on your bunk. Hee hee. Your hat comes off, your boots come off, and you lay there. So calm.
Sleep, trucker-bear. Lots of sleep so you can be loud and strong... It'll be a long, long, long time until you fall asleep without me tickling you to sleep, tickling, tickling, hee hee hee hee! One more drag. That was the last smoke you get, trucker-bear, because I don't know if you'll get one from me. Put it out in the ashtray. You don't need those cigarettes any more, because I promise to keep you howling and squealing instead. Oh boy, your lungs will just be so healthy in a day or two that you won't even be able to stand it. Laughing bear, all the time, howling trucker-bear of mine.
Good night, ticklish paws. Ribs. Belly. It's the last night in a long time you'll go to bed without a crazy, happy tickling. I'm gonna tickle you silly! Hee hee hee hee hee.
That's a good bear. Snore, and dream. Rest up. I'm going to have so much fun with you...
From now on you'll be my big ol' wild trucker-bear. Hee hee.
Now your friends are all asleep. It's time to take you home. Tickle tickle. I'm going to make sure you can't wake up yet. There. Did you feel that? No? Aw. How about this... or this? Okay, then. You're all mine. I just prop you in your fancy trucker seat, and put your ballcap on.
Here we go. Hee hee. I start up your big ol' truck. I'm a very good driver, and I can't wait to get you home. Hey, bear - I'm driving you to the place where I'll tickle and tickle. Sleep while you can. Hee hee hee hee.
Good. We made it to the barn, hooray. Hooray! I'm so glad you didn't have a trailer attached this time. You won't see the old barn, but it's a wonderful hiding place. No one ever comes out here.
Guess who's going to know where I'm keeping trucker-bear? Me. Nobody except me. Not even you! And now I promise I'm going to keep tickling you and tickling you. One more little trip, and we'll be home. It's such a good hiding place. You are the big bear I caught to tickle...
Time to hide you. Hee hee hee. This is my little truck. You get to sit behind the wheel again. Let's go home, bear. Okay? I have a room, and you're going in it, and staying there. Secret place for tickling.
I'm riding down the road, going home, straight home, and you don't even know what I'm going to do. Hee hee hee. Gotcha. Lock up the bear, he's ticklish. Get him. I'm gonna get you good.
Trucker bear
Trucker bear
I'm gonna tickle
there and there
and there and there
and there and there
and there and there and there!
Hee hee. You can't hear me, can you, bear? I don't want you to hear me. Even if you weren't asleep, there's no way you can hear me laugh along with you. I'm going to talk only with tickles. That's what I do with truckers. Big tickles, little tickles, on and on and on. You're not going anywhere, hee hee hee. I caught myself a big ol' bear.
Guess what.
We made it!
I hide the truck, and pick you up. Every second you get closer, and closer, to all the fun. Screaming laughs, bawling laughs, cackling laughs, barking laughs, squealing laughs. My bear. I got you. Crazy tickles, coming right up.
This is the door of my house. Hooray, oh hooray, I'm closing the door now. Bear's gonna stay in here and laugh for me. That's right. This is the lock that makes sure trucker-bear will get lots and lots of tickling. I got a bear, and I'm taking him... down the hall.
Wheeeeeee. Tickle the bear. You're my ticklish bear. Welcome home. And this is your room where I'll keep you. Lots of happy tickling. One more lock.
Hee hee hee hee.
You're all mine, mister bear. You. I got you now. Gotcha. No more driving down the road, ticklish bear. You get a long, long, very long, really super-crazy-long vacation. Right here. Stay home and laugh. Oh, are you gonna get tickled... So much fun. I'm not going to unlock this door. Tickle tickle tickle tickle. Everything is all ready. I'm so happy. Nobody will stop me, so I'm going to tickle every single day. This is my bear, lying on his bed, and all the other big toys are going to hold him tight so I can tickle tickle tickle. Cuffs and chains for trucker-bear.
Hold him tight, so I can make sure he laughs all day long. I am the bear-tickler, and now I've got a big one to tickle. Nice big feet. Covered up - boooooo. Socks can't keep you from getting tickled. See? I've got 'em now. There they go.
Hee hee hee hee hee hee. I got your feet, and they're gonna get it...
Definitely trucker-feet. They need lots of help. I'll get 'em so soft. Tickly, crazy. I know what to do. All these toys for you, bear. Tickle the big ol' feet.
And now I have your shirt, bear. Keep right on sleeping, and I'll take your shirt - away. Oooooo! Hee hee hee hee.
Hairy. Trucker-bear is so big. I like your arms. You don't look so wide, around the middle, when you're laying on your back. This tummy is going to be tickled like crazy!
Here goes your belt. Goodbye, jeans. Underwear...
Ah. Now I wanna tickle you more than ever. I'm so glad you're locked in here. So many places to have fun. Big, tall bear, and won't you be surprised. Tickling the bear. Big, tough, wild trucker. And he's gonna wail and howl for me.
I'm going to take your cap away now.
Naked trucker-bear. I want you to stop hiding. All that hair you've got would make the tickling less crazy, so I'm shaving you now. You don't even know it. You were so hairy, and...
Hee hee hee. Your chest is nice and smooth. Way more ticklish. Oh, yeah.
I'm very, very careful in your armpits...
Chest, belly. Hmmmm - between your legs. I'm very careful, here. So very careful. I don't want to hurt you, trucker-bear. I want to tickle you here too. And I will. Wheeeeee.
Let's take all the hair off your legs. Aw, that's looking much better now, bear. More ticklish. I bet you haven't been this smooth in a long, long time.
Now I'm going to shave your arms.
Hmmmmm. I think your beard will have to go. How can I tickle your neck and tickle your chin with all this fur?
That's better. Trucker-bear's still got his mustache. Crazy, laughing, helpless bear.
And I will keep your hair short, just like this, so I can have lots of fun tickling your neck. Oh, yes. Hee hee.
There he is. Tickle, tickle. Real soon now.
Wait until you see yourself. The tickling will be so crazy. Much more fun without all this thick fur. Later, I'll shave your back. It's going to make you so itchy! Hee hee hee. And you won't be able to scratch. Not once. Itchy bear, paws caught good, and I'm going to tickle you silly. Wild bear. That's a promise. Tickle tickle tickle, guaranteed.
Finally, it's time for my very favorite part of getting you tough ol' bears ready for crazy, wild tickling - hooo hooo hooo!
Here it is. I've got... the lotion.
I love this lotion so much. Bear, meet the lotion. You might think you're ticklish now, but this lotion will make you so much more fun you just won't believe it. A gallon of lotion, just for you.
These are the gloves I use to put the lotion on. I'm gonna tickle, tickle, tickle! Lots of lotion for trucker-bear's left foot. Thick, slippery lotion, making your feet so soft. Slippery, tickly...
Right foot, bear. So much lotion. Tickle tickle tickle. And I have cases of lotion for you, so the bear and the lotion will be together from now on.
The lotion and the bear
are meeting everywhere
tickles will be stronger
now that he's got no hair
tickle tickle trucker-bear
cuffs are all you're gonna wear
always laughing longer
thanks to the lotion there
When I want to use feathers to tickle you, I won't put more lotion on. But that's the only time, I promise. Lots and lots of lotion, so your feet get super-crazy-ticklish, and your butt. I know truckers. You need lotion on your legs...
All over your middle. Nice and thick.
That butt really needs the lotion, too, because you drive so much. All truckers need lotion in the middle of their butt. Rubbed in, lots of lotion, hee hee.
I get more and more of it and cover up your sides. Lotion for your chest, lotion for your neck. Tickle tickle, crazy bear. Arms, hands, face. Shoulders.
Lots of extra lotion under your arms. Between your legs...
And most of all, nice thick layers on your big, ticklish feet.
I've got a trucker and he's going to laugh and laugh. Every single day he'll be so much fun.
Hee hee hee.
Okay. Let's get these posts set. There, and there.
I've got fat cuffs for you. It's so much fun to put them on.
Trucker-bear's wrists are all wrapped up now, aren't they? Ready to be chained to the posts.
Yes. Oh, you're not going to move. Are you? Pull and slam around as much as you want. I don't care. Your hands are staying right where I want 'em.
Now, these braces are wider... and that's because they hold two straps. Above and below each of your knees. So caught, my bear. Hee hee hee, I've brought the cuffs for your ankles. Yes!
This is so exciting. Trapped feet. Tickle, tickle, tickle. Chains to pull down on your ankles - and there. You can kick all you want. I'll keep tickling you. When you wake up I want you to see your feet hanging off there, not going anywhere at all. Even when I bring the feathers and the brushes, all the gloves...
Just the way I want you.
Hee hee hee hee hee. Nice, thick leather. Nothing but fun for this bear.
You're all ready now.
Soon - ol' trucker-bear's gonna be crazy. Rowdy, wild, noisy, cuffed and chained. Lots of lotion, so many happy days, right in my room. Tickled silly -
Hooray! Good bear. You're waking up.
Hee hee hee. You don't like being caught, huh? No clothes on you. I'm gonna tickle you silly, trucker-bear. Definitely. The full ride...
Fight it. You tug at those cuffs. Bear's gonna figure out that I'm not letting him go. Tickle tickle tickle, big ol' bear. I won't let you hear me, and I have a much better way to let you know. Hee hee. Pull harder, or else I'll make you crazy. Laughing, laughing bear.
Aaaaw. Trucker-bear can't get loose. Hooray for me. I'm gonna have so much fun.
One thing left, and then I'll tickle tickle tickle. Look at the wall, bear. Way over your feet.
I'll turn on the little light, under the frame, so you can get a real good look.
It's a painting.
Stare at it. Very good. Such a nice, sensitive bear.
I had a lot of fun with an artist, once, until he painted this just the way I wanted. That's a dark grey wall, in the background. Like a dungeon. And a tray, floating there, with feathers on it. One is being picked up... by magic.
And the best part, I think, is the hands. Real big, as if they're gonna jump right out of the picture, reach down for the bear's trapped feet... But they're invisible. The artist did a real good job, the seventh time he made the picture. Nice big fingers, thick and full, but they're clear. You can tell from the outlines, trucker-bear, that they're real. But you won't see 'em.
Wait until you see me pick up some gloves. Just like happy hands. Ready to tickle. Always, always...
You're gonna get it now. Tickled silly. Hee hee hee hee.
Well, whoa there. I thought you'd start fighting again. I'll let you try to get away. The painting will still be there. All this wonderful lotion is staying all over you. Trucker-bear is gonna get crazy, goofy-happy, in a minute. Tickle, tickle, tickle. Yes indeed.
I'm watching you... as you slow down. Getting ready for fun, bear? You're sweating. Wait until you see how soaking wet you'll be in an hour. Ten hours. Happy, crazy bear, laughing with me.
Yelling, again? Okay.
Tickle tickle.
And now that you're giving up - it's time, trucker-bear.
Meet my fingers.
Here I come. Right foot.
Tickle.
Wow! Aw, yeah. I made you jump. Are you going to yell some more? Jump all around? It doesn't matter.
Left foot.
Tickle tickle. Slippery lotion -
Hee hee hee.
Get up, trucker-bear. Run away, Or else I'm gonna make you roar. Snap at those chains.
No. I gotcha.
Both feet! Hee hee hee hee.
Aw, I heard that. You almost laughed. This is so great.
I'm gonna tickle your... ribs!
Hee hee. Wild bear. You're looking, but you won't see my hands. I'm gonna tickle you... silly.
There you go! Laugh, laugh, laugh, trucker-bear. I'm really going to have fun with you now.
Oh, this just makes you go crazy. Good - we'll have fun for a long, long, long, long time.
I'm going to tickle your armpits... and laugh along with you. Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee.
Digging into your belly. Polishing your chest.
Crazy, howling bear. Hee hee hee. And I start tickling your knees now, scratching under there, busy fingers, happy hands that don't ever get tired, expert tickling fingers.
Wild bear.
Hey. Your chest isn't heaving anymore. It's time for something extra-special. Look at this, trucker-bear.
Isn't it thick? No kicking allowed. These holes are where your ankles go, here and here. I'm putting it right on the bed, and now I get the big rods in place...
It's not gonna move. Isn't that wonderful?
Give me your leg. I've got you. Both legs... And I'm going to hold them tight. Oh yes, I am. You're not getting away from any of the tickling -
This is the top part. You look so worried, trucker-bear. It's going to be so much fun. Crazy, crazy laughing bear.
And I make sure you won't get loose by putting this lock... through here, and here. Click. Hee hee hee.
You can't see you feet now, can you? Ticklish bear, kicking and kicking. But it's no use.
It's time to get your hands behind your back and clip those fine cuffs together. A chain from the ceiling, and - voila. Big ol' bear's sitting up now. He can't lay down, and he can't get very far. Wonderful ticklish bear-feet hanging out into space. And I'm picking up some of my feathers -
Tickle 'em! Tickle tickle tickle tickle. Hee hee.
Laugh harder, bear. Bounce, twist, kick, do everything you can do. It won't stop me from tickling. These feet are so stuck now. Trucker-bear's gonna get it. Wiggling around, more than I let you when you're spread out on your back - but you still can't away from my feathers. No, no. Such a good bear. I like watching you jump all around, and laugh. Tickle tickle tickle, wild trucker-bear. Hee hee hee hee hee.
Laugh harder, now. Get wild.
I give you some water...
And look. More lotion for you. And these brushes.
Oh, does that really tickle? A lot? You're trying to bounce around, laughing so much harder...
You have wonderful, ticklish feet. Crazy trucker-bear.
Now, this bandanna is going - between your teeth. Oh, yes it is. Nothing you can do about that. And this bandage wraps round and round, so you can't see what's coming next.
Bear's wrapped up and breathing hard now, lookin' scared. Aw, you know what's coming. I'm gonna make you even more crazy... but not where you're thinking.
Instead, I pull your elbows out a little - nice and quick - and move these gloves in. Lots of lotion. Smart fingers -
Ah, yes.
Wild, wild bear. Hee hee hee hee.
All up and down your sides. Across your chest, down to your belly, and crawling back up.
More gloves, slicked up, start in on your thighs. Meeting in the middle, hee hee hee.
You're not laughing anymore, but you can't fool me. It's so crazy, in your head, that you just can't hoot into the gag anymore.
The tickling will go on, and on, and on...
And now, I think, it's time to get these little cords around your toes. Keep 'em nice and straight. There...
Another thick layer of lotion on six tickling hands. Just for you, bear.
Here it comes.
I rub, so carefully, up and down and around your bear-stick.
Twenty fingers cover your feet, so carefully, and I'm making sure not to miss a single spot, hee hee hee hee hee.
When you stop bucking and go off, like a fountain, I have my gloves just hold on. Pushing like a big ol' bear, you are - all this energy. Finally slowing down...
I've still got your feet. Don't I? And now, the tickling continues -
Oh, yeah. Hee hee. Does that feel every more crazy, trucker? Does it? Looks like you're even more ticklish right now. And I've got you!
My other hands slide back up to your armpits.
Ah. Bear's too wild to thrash around. Aren't you? I'm gonna keep on tickling. On and on.
You're too crazy to laugh or move around. You just shake, in my hands.
Now that was four hours of crazy fun. We'll have to do that every day. Wild, sweaty, ticklish bear...
You look like you need to lay down. I get your arms and legs spread out again.
There you are. Flat on your back. Out comes the gag, and I give you some more water. Wild bear's tired - your eyes are already closing. Ready for a nap.
I wait a few minutes. Without making a sound, I get four gloves ready.
Okay - now. I curl the fingers and move in. Slow, gentle -
A thick layer of lotion for each of your soles.
Hee hee. You grunt, and lift your head. Oh, trucker-bear, the look on your face! More lotion means - oh no, this is so crazy, it's outrageous, much more tickling! Starting up again...
There, now, that's a wild, wild bear. But you can't get up. And I make real sure the cuffs won't let these ticklish ol' feet move away. Not a chance.
Roar harder for me. Crazy, crazy, tickle, tickle, tickle. Hee hee hee hee hee hee.
Up your legs, here they come. Lotion time. Across and up.
Crazy tickling.
Another hour of it.
And another...
Okay. Now you can sleep, trucker-bear. Get ready for tomorrow. It'll have much more tickling in it than today did, because it'll be your first full day in my hands. Magic tickling hands for a wildly happy bear...
Hee hee-eeeeeee.
Laughing day
it's a whole new big laughing day
I'm going to make you have some fun - hooray!
Crazy crazy ticklish bear
Going nowhere
Oh, you're going nowhere
No need to be scared today
Good morning, trucker-bear. Yes, it's all real. Oh yes I will!
Look. I cleaned you up real nice, and laid down the lotion all over you. But first you get to drink all the water you want, and eat lots of food. I'll make sure you stay nice and strong. Wild. Crazy, tickled-all-day trucker bear.
Laughing, bucking, sweating hard, wild to get away from my hands. But you won't. No, sir. Hee hee hee hee.
Very wild, ticklish and crazy.
Good bear.
Hey, look - I'm bringing out the frame again.
You get all restless, so I think you know what this means. I want your ankles loose, and you know I'm gonna hold on to 'em tight...
Here it comes. Down to the mattress again. I put one ankle in a padded half-circle, and then the other. Time for the top part - and the lock.
Hee hee hee. Got 'em. Stuck good.
Let me get your wrists loose, so you can sit up - but don't get any ideas, trucker-bear. I've got the clips all ready. Yeah. Connecting 'em again, just like I did yesterday.
You're all set. Right? You can't budge?
Heeee-ere come the feathers...
Wild bear, crazy bear, laughing trucker-bear. I'm gonna tickle and tickle and tickle, oh yes I am.
Each time you see the frame, you fight less and less. I think you know there's not a thing ol' trucker-bear can do about it. Hee hee hee. Time to sit you up again. Rub that bear-stick for a good long time, tickle your armpits, work this lotion into your neck - just the way I like.
And you do like it too. Here - tickling all around your neck.
That's real clear, trucker-bear. Well, sure, I can see the tickling drives you nice and crazy - but your face says you like something about the neck-massage. Even though it tickles and tickles...
It's almost been a week, but you managed to surprise me. Crazy-ticklish trucker.
Hee hee hee hee.
Every time I rub your arms, nice and slow, you give me a little smile. But I have to tickle just the right way, and wait a few seconds before I jump back into your armpits.
Trucker-bear smiles real nice.
Ah. Your shins, too? Good bear.
If I tickle you right, and don't start in too hard when I get to your feet... you act differently.
Yeah. The bear likes this.
The next morning is a special morning.
You wake up, and I feed you... but no gloves are waiting to get the lotion on, tickle and tickle. No feathers, either. This is special.
I take the cuffs off, one by one.
There. I'm going to sit you up - with your legs hanging off the bed. I've never done this before, have I? Think about it, wild bear. Something new -
And look! I'm opening the door.
Here come your clothes. And your boots. Floating over. You should see the look on your face. It's so funny. Do you think it's time for me to let you go? No more wild, crazy tickled trucker-bear anymore?
I set the clothes down, on the floor... but I'm not letting go of your arms just yet. No, no, no. And I'm glad you're staring at your clothes, bear. You want to put 'em on. I know. You want to leave -
So I move your shirt a little, and get your cigarettes.
Such a big sigh! I'm never seen your eyes look like this. So hopeful. Oh, you're a funny, funny bear - even when you're not trying to be. Yup, here comes a smoke, trucker-bear. First one in a week. And I think you really want it. I'll get your lighter...
Yeah. Look at you go. Hee hee hee hee. I've got me one relieved ol' tickle-bear, here. Don't I?
You sure are enjoying that cigarette. I bet there's only one thing you really, really want now. Hee hee.
I've got three hands locked around each of your upper arms, and you can't see 'em. Now I move one hand down. Slowly, barely holding on -
Well, that gets you looking. But they're invisible, trucker-bear. My very own crazy-bear-tickling hands.
Stroking back up...
In just the right way.
You start to chuckle, but I know you can't help that. You're just so wild and ticklish. This particular way of touching you, though, is the way you like best.
I see your face. You're thinking real hard, bear. Maybe you'll understand, and maybe you won't. This is definitely something special, isn't it?
Now I pick your clothes up.
And then I rub your arms again. Creeping a little higher. You know where those fingers always end up - I know you do, hee hee hee - but I hold your clothes up in the air. Why, it's almost as if I'm giving you a choice.
Am I waiting for you to do something? Choose, or beg, maybe just try to reach over and get your shirt...
Look. Way over here.
I'm bringing the frame back. Right to you.
And now - yes! - I take your clothes back to the door.
There. Finally! I was beginning to wonder if you'd fight at all. That's more like it. You're staying right here with me, crazy trucker-bear, wild and ticklish, and you know I'll make you even wilder ten minutes from now. You know that. Ten minutes, ten hours, ten days. Tickle tickle tickling you, ticklish ol' bear.
Watch them go away, now.
No clothes for you. No boots. Only lots and lots more... tickling!
I make the door close again, just like magic, and lock you in again.
Down comes the frame. All ready to trap some wild-trucker ankles. Oh, yes.
I got 'em. Hee hee heeeeeeee.
No matter what you do, crazy bear, I'm cuffing your hands behind your back again. Watch these gloves, down here, as I get the lotion piled on them, nice and thick. Here's six of the firm brushes that make you flop so hard...
And as I take hold of your legs, I think it's time to trade that cigarette for a fresh new gag.
04jul04