"Hello, Ralie," the magic sunglasses said.
"Hi," she answered shyly.
They were just laying on her bed with all the other birthday presents - in a case that had a picture of the princess-lady she liked so much - but Ralie didn't remember unwrapping them at her party...
"I'm three," Ralie told the sunglasses.
"I know. You're a big girl."
She nodded. Looking around her bedroom, she saw hills covered with bright green grass and all kinds of flowers. They were so pretty. She took the glasses off, and saw her bedroom - until she put the sunglasses back on. So many flowers. It was like looking out the window, or a place in one of the movies Mommy put on the TV.
"Do you know what my name is?"
After thinking for a few seconds, she shook her head.
"I'm Tickles."
"Tickles?"
"Yup."
Ralie giggled. "Are you going to tickle me?"
"No, I'm just a pair of sunglasses. I can't tickle you. Sorry. Do you like the flowers?"
"Pretty," she said.
"I like the flowers," Tickles said. "It's fun to show them to people. They're in a special place. Some people get to live there if they don't have nice houses - like you do."
"Oh."
"Do you know anybody who doesn't have a house of their own?"
She finally said, "I don't know."
"Hmmmm. Okay. Do you like my name?"
"Yes. Tickles is a funny name."
"It sure is. Are you ticklish?"
Giggling, Ralie nodded her head.
"Is Mommy ticklish?"
"Uh-huh."
"And Daddy?"
"I think so."
"Do they tickle you?"
"Sometimes." She laughed again.
"That sounds like fun. Does anybody else tickle you, Ralie?"
A few seconds later, she nodded her head.
"You have a smile on your face," Tickles said. "I bet you're thinking about somebody who -"
"Uncle Mike."
"A-ha. Uncle Mike. He likes tickling, huh?"
Ralie nodded.
"Good -"
"Daddy tickled him once," she said. "He was tickling me and Daddy came and tickled him."
"Really? Did everybody laugh?"
"Yes. He's got pictures all over his arms."
"Does Uncle Mike have a nice house?"
"No," Ralie said, looking at some bright pink flowers.
"He doesn't?" Tickles said. "Well, that's too bad -"
"I like these flowers," she interrupted.
"They're pretty, aren't they? And this is a fun place to live. So much fun. There are houses and everything... for people who don't have a nice house of their own."
"We have a house," Ralie said.
"I know you do, silly Ralie. Hmmmmm. Well, what about Uncle Mike? He doesn't have a house, right? Like yours?"
"Nope."
"Well... He could come here."
She thought about that. It looked like a nice place. "Uncle Mike?"
"Well, sure! They have a house all ready. Do you want him to come for a visit?"
"Okay," Ralie said, shrugging.
Suddenly the jail cell was gone.
Mike blinked a few times, sitting up.
Low hills surrounded him. Bright flowers...
What the hell? How did he get outside - and in his street clothes? He only had nine days left to do - and now this. They'll think he broke out.
Like he was in a trance, Mike reached inside his jacket and pulled out his cigarettes...
"Hi!" Ralie shouted. "Uncle Mike!"
"Sssssh," Tickles said, laughing. "He can't hear you."
"Oh."
"Does he look happy?"
She thought about that. "I guess so. He smokes a lot." She watched him look around. "Daddy used to smoke, but he quit."
"I think your uncle likes the pretty flowers."
"He likes motorcycles. A lot."
"Motorcycles," the sunglasses said happily. "Okay. What else does he like?"
"He watches TV with Daddy."
"Oh. But they don't have any TVs there. Can you think of something else he could do? Instead of sitting around, watching TV. Uncle Mike seems like a big, strong guy. He should have some fun."
Ralie nodded.
"Let's think of something -"
"No TV?"
Tickles sighed. "No TV. Not there. Let's see... What else does he do when he comes over to your house? With you?"
She smiled again. "Tickle."
"That's it. Good job, Ralie. He likes that - and you did say Daddy tickled him once, right?"
"Uh-huh."
"Do you think it would be okay if Uncle Mike got tickled? Right now?"
Ralie watched him smoke and finally said, "Okay."
Something like hands clamped around his right knee.
"Hey," he said, looking down -
Nothing there. It felt like fingers, though. He kicked his leg out. The grip held.
"Nnn-no," he grunted, dropping the cigarette.
Hands got his other knee, and started curling around his wrists, his upper arms -
Squeezing his ribs.
Mike hissed and flopped around.
"Son of a b-bitch!" he yelled. Then, all of a sudden, he started to chuckle.
More fingers dug into his armpits - and something touched his face, almost like there were hands pushing up on his cheeks...
Ralie watched him fall down - laughing. There was nobody else there, but he was sure wiggling around like there were hands tickling him. A lot. He had a big smile on his face.
"He's ticklish, just like you," Tickles said.
"Uh-huh."
"And he's having fun now."
She nodded. Uncle Mike was throwing his head around, but the smile was still there. And he was laughing so hard. For a big, tough guy, he looked like he was really ticklish. It made her happy to see how much he liked it. Every time Uncle Mike came over, he tickled Ralie... making those funny animal-noises when he reached for her, wiggling his fingers. Such a big smile on his face - like he had now. "Who's tickling him?"
"It's magic. There are hands tickling him, but we can't see them. They're invisible. I think they've been practicing for a long, long time. He looks very happy."
"Good," she said. Everybody should be happy. He was still laughing, but he didn't get up. And he was a big guy... It was fun to watch, but Ralie would have liked it more if she could see the magic hands.
Uncle Mike's back lifted off the ground, and his head turned this way and that. But after a few seconds he got tired - and dropped back down. Laughing and laughing. He looked funny. The hands were really getting him good, but she just couldn't see them -
"Uncle Mike is really ticklish. Isn't it funny?"
"Uh-huh," Ralie agreed.
"He's a big motorcycle guy, and just look at his face."
She sighed. Tickles kept telling her that Uncle Mike was smiling, he was happy - and that was a good thing, but she didn't want to watch somebody else laugh all day. He did look like a little kid, sorta. Having fun. Daddy and Uncle Mike laughed sometimes when they watched TV, just not this hard -
"Ralie."
"What?"
"This is very important. Is it okay with you if Uncle Mike stays there and has more fun? Where the flowers are?"
"I guess so." He kept trying to move, but his arms and legs stayed flat on the grass. And no matter how much he moved around, he just kept laughing and laughing. "That's a lot of tickling."
"He's a big guy."
"Oh," she said - and then she giggled. Of course. Daddy had only tickled him for a little bit. But Uncle Mike was a tough guy. So it would take a lot more tickling to make him feel it. The hands knew that, because they were good ticklers, so that's why they could really make him laugh...
I like it when I get tickled," she told the sunglasses. Maybe they'd tell her how to go the where the flowers were, so the hands would tickle her too.
"I'll bet you do. He likes to tickle you - and he's just staying there, isn't he? So the hands keep on tickling him."
"It's fun," she said.
"Do you think he really, really likes getting tickled?"
Well, he kept squirming - but she did that, too. Ralie remembered his big hands tickling her tummy. It was hard to sit still. And if Uncle Mike wanted to stand up and say okay, no more tickling... he'd just do it. When he thought the hands had tickled him enough, he'd roll over and say something. But he didn't do that. Maybe adults needed a lot more tickling to really have fun with it. He sure did laugh. She'd never seen him like this...
Uncle Mike was a tough guy - just like Daddy - so he'd scoot away and tell the hands to stop, when he was ready. That made sense to her.
"Hey, Ralie," Tickles said, "can you keep a secret?"
She watched him bounce his head on the grass a few times. "Yes."
"Uncle Mike will want to tell Daddy and Mommy the good news - about visiting this place and having so much fun. I think we should let him say it first, so it's a surprise. That means we can't tell anybody, okay?"
"Oh. Okay," she nodded.
"Do you promise to let Uncle Mike tell them - and not to say a word about this, so he can give them a nice surprise?"
"Promise."
"That's wonderful, Ralie. Just look at how much fun he's -"
"I like surprises," she interrupted. That reminded her - Mommy had given her a new movie for her birthday. Maybe she'd put it on the TV now, if Ralie asked... "I got a penguin movie for my birthday."
"Wait," the sunglasses said quickly. "One more thing, okay? And then you go watch that movie. I have to make sure - because that place is really made for kids. They'll let uncles come and visit, but a kid has to say yes, I know this guy and he's nice. He can stay there. Do you understand?"
"Uh-huh."
"You get to decide if Uncle Mike can have more fun here. There's a house all ready for him t-"
"Okay," Ralie said, thinking about the movie she wanted to watch.
"And it's a secret - his big surprise - so you won't tell anybody at all, until he comes back and tells Daddy. Right?"
"Right."
"You're a very good girl. He'll have fun all the time. I promise," Tickles said. "Thank you, Ralie! Say goodbye to Uncle Mike now... He's too busy laughing."
"Bye," Ralie said automatically -
The flowers got all fuzzy, and then they went away.
All she saw was her bedroom, but darker. Now they were just like wearing Daddy's sunglasses.
She set Tickles down on the bed and grabbed Cindy, her favorite doll, and the new movie. Ralie hoped there were other birds in it too. Birds were funny.
Right after she left the room the case hovered off the bedspread - and the sunglasses floated back inside.
After the lid clicked shut, they just disappeared.
Mike roared like a fool.
Hands were all over him, tickling hard. A couple had gotten under his shirt.
He couldn't seem to squirm enough to throw the damn hands off. They found a way of digging into his armpits that made it hard to do anything.
The sky was moving -
No, he was being carried. Still no sign of the fuckers doin' it. Driving him crazy...Over a little hill, and down, he saw something totally out of place. Cinderblock walls.
As soon as the fuckin' straps were tight, a whole bunch of feathers and brushes circled around - moving in like they just couldn't wait another second.
It was definitely time to thrash harder. Not that it did any good. Fuck, he couldn't deal with all the fingers. What they were doin' to him. Like live wires, rubbing and squeezing. All he could do was bellow and fight. So many hands.
He'd never been tickled like that in his life. Not even close. It just scrambled his brain. Fuck...
A steel door was already open. They carried him in - it was cool, and dim - and he laughed even louder at the closing door. Locks on it and everything.
The light was turned up a little...
He was in a fuckin' dungeon. Cuffs and chains everywhere.
Most of the hands stopped tickling, and that was good - until they started pulling his clothes off.
15nov05