(Not much "action" in this one, FYI)
You're expecting another twisted little tale, here, aren't ya?
That's hilarious. All of you monkeys are so much fun. Trapped in my playroom, or even just staring at your computer monitor with that nervous, confused expression... well, you're the best.
I'm Lokko. Your helpless sensitivity is perhaps my favorite thing in the world. No one you've ever known wants you to laugh and howl like I do. Count on it. Maybe you'll find out for yourself one quiet evening when I grab hold of you in your car, or surprise you on a lonely subway platform. You'll end up wondering if the fun will ever stop.
My reputation has grown almost by accident. Turns out I have a knack for making damn good movies of putting you dawgs through your paces. Chances are you'll never get to see them, because you wouldn't sleep for a month. Other ticklers love these flicks, though. They keep pestering me to write a little something about how I find and work on these great specimens. Usually I'd rather keep busy doing the full-finger boogie on your hides, of course.
So one of my enterprising comrades brought me a little device called a "smart phone." I can talk to it, and the words just appear on the screen. The results aren't nearly as impressive when I hold it over Zack's head - maybe I need to figure out how to teach this phone how to spell out all the interesting laughs and noises you beasts can make. Anyway, I don't have any good excuse left to put off sharing what I've learned with my fans. They're putting it on some monkey's website to shake him up - apparently he's hasn't been too careful about hiding his passwords - and I decided to write as if I was talking right to you. The hunted. You fascinating, ticklish beasts...
Heh. Right. So, now I can dictate a few thoughts without giving Zack any extra time off. He's a real basket case. Being restrained while I play revs him up something fierce. I've been covering his backside since lunchtime, and not too long ago I flipped him back over and started mixing it up on his belly. This animal's a treat. I mean that. Zack's having such a great time now that he just can't stand it. I'll get back to these phenomenal feet later. He can't do a damn thing to stop me.
I suppose they want me to say something about the thrill of the hunt. Or the capture, if you prefer. Like any of us, the right prospect will make me drop everything and just pounce. Sometimes that works out, and sometimes it doesn't. My preference is to test him real well, when he's sleeping, and know that he's worth the hassle.
Then I try to figure out how much I can get the lucky dawg to help me out. Cooperate in his imprisonment. That can take as little as a couple weeks of research and surveillance and hinting, if the animal isn't too bright. I've learned to have my cameras rolling...
One time I decided to go after a legendary tickle-toy. I spent about a month perfecting the plan, and almost four months more to put it into action. Naturally I spent twice that long making him pay. He had a very encouraging cackle. Just ideal. Such insane reaction. I can't tell you why it's exciting to wait that long instead of just dragging his ass off to the playroom, but I tried luring a tough dawg to his doom once and it just made me happier every day I worked him over. Maybe for me, all the studying and planning tends to make the victory that much sweeter...
Zack was worth every minute. I spent almost twelve weeks reeling him in. And yeah, that was three more months he could've suffered, but now that I've got him - well, he's been hunted ever since he was fifteen. That's how electrifying it is to tear into him. It was much more of a challenge to trick a cagey scumbag like this one. I don't feel like revealing all of my secrets, so all you need to know is that I tailored the bait and kept on top of... changing circumstances. That was after doing my homework. I know things about this cat that he forgot years ago. It took just the right gravelly voice and vocabulary for the phone calls that reassured Zack to come on out here.
So along the way I watched, and nudged him. It took longer than I wanted, but the outcome was getting more certain. That kept me going. Finally it was time to get him moving. He came right to me.
I won.
Six days ago, this ticklish badass showed up, as I intended, and he's in for a seriously extended stay...
I had at least three cameras aimed at Zack ever since he got out of the car. Pure magic, if I do say so myself. I couldn't have done better if I'd been able to stage it all with his cooperation.
Along the way there's been plenty of unusable video, as you can imagine, but I've been at this for a couple years now. This time the angles and the lighting were top-notch. There were two great lenses for focusing tight on his face.
Zack knew better. That fact kept me going through all the months I waited. This was no rookie stumbling into the wrong hallway - and by this point I needed to record the moment of truth, when he realized how he'd been duped, and I mean I craved that video with an intensity that was almost overpowering. I had to watch Zack discover he'd been had, again and again. My comrades would see the reward of all that patience and planning, and know he'd have that regret coming back to haunt him all the time as I started tickling again, and again, and again...
He's been caught enough times before. Any place at all can be the next kidnap site. I had two hours of him chain-smoking in his apartment, talking himself into this trip. He had to be thinking about the risk - someone like me could be waiting to grab him by the scruff of the neck and haul him off. But Zack got his dander up, and got in his car.
You monkeys wouldn't know it, but my new prisoner has a hell of a rep. He's been howling for twenty-five years, and his most recent tickler couldn't stop raving about him. A body just built for tickling. Perfect metabolism. Having him drive out to a playroom - without a gun barrel pushed against his crotch - is about the biggest challenge I can think of.
Even as he shut off the car's engine, there was that flicker of doubt on his face. He just knew, at some level, what was coming. It's his thing. His calling...
But he'd fallen for the setup, alright. That charges me up almost as much as drilling their ribs and their feet. It's so much more fulfilling to goad a howler who has every reason to know better, but sets himself up just the same. Zack is no dummy, but he does have a naïve streak - probably a lot more shrewd than he was before we started kidnapping him, but monitoring Zack enough had shown me which buttons to push.
And there he was, sooooooo close to his cage.
Eventually he shook off the suspicion and got out of the car. The garage door was still open, of course. Maybe he took some comfort in that. With the press of a button I'd have his wheels hidden from the world. While he was driving out to meet me, I switched his accounts to a post office box in the next state over. His bills would get paid on time. We like to take care of all the evidence one of you monkeys might use to say look, this proves I was hauled off by force. Nobody would be looking for ol' Zack. Worrying about what he was up to. Since he wasn't big on admitting to his peeps what his true talent was, they'd naturally figure he was off on another mysterious road trip as usual. Enjoying himself. He'd show up again, sometime next year... or whenever I was done with him.
You're probably thinking that no seasoned veteran of our games would ever let down their guard like this. They just wouldn't be so careless after they've been put through the wringer a couple dozen times. Pure paranoia, all the time. Right? And I'd have to say sure - in the short term. Any of you monkeys can be manipulated when Lokko has enough information to work with. And time. Steer him, and eventually he'll be tricked into thinking the fateful trip is his idea. Hey, I don't know why I can study you for a month and make the right guesses. Maybe the enjoyment of hunting you and catching all the key moments on video made me work hard enough to figure you out. It's such a rush.
That investment brought me to one of the best takedowns ever, and I was getting some terrific video of Zack walking himself right to the door! Only a few more seconds and his whole day would be ruined, and the hardcore fun would begin. He got a cigarette out, and you know I was watching closely. You dawgs reveal a lot more in those habitual behaviors than you realize. My boy didn't show a trace of apprehension when he lit up. Sucking hard as he was inclined to do, all that macho power and attitude moving forward again - closer and closer to my dungeon - he confirmed that there was no way he was going to back out now.
Just exquisite.
He went right through one door, looking all around - actually relaxing a little! - and yelled "Hello?"
I zipped into the cell. "Yeah."
That was all it took. The right bark, sounding like a grizzled old biker, got him moving again. Oh, sure, he tried to play it cool, but I wondered if he knew, deep down, what had to be waiting in that back room. Maybe there's no escaping his destiny.
I'd set him up right, though. The prospect of a stock headlight assembly for his Harley was just too important to pass up. I bought two others to make sure I had the only one around. He was grounded until he got it. Eventually Zack was ready to take a big chance.
He walked up the the last door without showing any nervousness.
You can probably guess that the part he'd see was the very one I "borrowed" from his own bike. The monkey would start howling for me with the knowledge that he'd been reeled in with the offer of buying back his own property. Obviously he'd been targeted and enticed a while back...
There was no chance whatsoever of anybody else learning that he'd come to Lokko's playroom, or that he was stuck here. In for the long haul, too, judging from what my buds recommended.
"Hey," Zack said, walking into the cell.
There was nothing visible to tip him off. Not yet. Just an old stool with the headlight sitting there. His eyes were locked on it. Very interested in what he saw there.
Sucker.
I watched him take a couple steps closer to it, before he came to a stop - and I swear he was on autopilot. Not even aware he was far enough inside... Because there was the headlight that some asshole stole from him, and he needed it to ride his scoot. Wouldn't he be kicking himself when it was brought close enough to show it that it was, literally, his bike's headlight he came to get?
The ruse had absolutely paid off.
Zack looked around the room again. Bare concrete, a stain here and there. Nothing suspicious. There was one other door over to his left. He squinted in that direction -
So I hurried to pour some water into the old toilet. Zack heard the sound, decided the guy he was there to meet was taking a leak - and heaved a little sigh. Relieved. It wasn't one of those mean ol' ticklers after all. Just a guy, selling him a part. He started walking to the stool and took another drag.
Sensational camera angles, oh yeah...
Just outside the door, I whipped a wall panel aside and got the bars out. They look a lot like a jail door, actually. The symbolism would be clear enough to an old hand like Zack. I blocked the exit without making a sound.
Not two seconds after I barred him in, he glanced back and saw them.
Gotcha.
A delightful little grunt of fear slipped out. Then his brain seemed to catch up, and start putting it all together.
The brutal truth dawned on big, doomed, ticklish Zack.
I recorded it for posterity.
"Oh no," he said to himself, purely out of reflex. Still exhaling smoke. "No. Aw, no.... Shit."
He started to move backward. Zack was worried. This wasn't the full-scale alarm a newbie would feel right about now. No, he was acting like a beast who knew it was way too late to skip out on the torment. He was already defeated, and that dampened his enthusiasm to do something - anything.
I watched his hand bring the cigarette up for another pull, right away, but the changing expressions on his face told the real story. As much as he didn't want to believe it, all the pieces were falling into place. Caught again. Tricked. He scanned the room quickly - big, hopeless eyes! - but he didn't bolt and start kicking the bars or anything. That wouldn't work, and this biker definitely knew it.
Fairly calm, considering the shock. Dreading the future. So reluctant...
"C'mon," he said. Protesting. Only a dude who's been in this situation a couple dozen times could be so calm at that moment. He started sneaking toward the door, looking around for something he might use to hold me off. Anything! He's just gotta get out. Right now. There's months of serious tickling if he doesn't. And yet he doesn't panic. Hell, the defeat is written all over his face. If I've been that thorough, up 'til now, it's already set in stone.
Yup. Zack will be tickled again. Right here. Zack-style tickling, like he's known for. I won't just pull out all the stops... they're getting smashed to bits and scattered on the wind. He's sticking around for as long as I want, to keep feeling the unbearable burn.
He knows the drill by now.
I got that world-weary dread recorded. It's exactly right - clear, and sharp, ever since he showed up. I've always wanted to get that moment immortalized on video. Better yet, I still had Zack all to myself. This ticklish animal was locked away, and he knew what an important part he'd played this time. Any number of times he's been simply dragged into places like this, but ol' Zack volunteered the information needed to keep everyone who knows him from getting suspicious... and then he was good enough to drive right into the garage and strut into his kennel. He already knew, in his bones, that he was tricked into doing everything necessary to make this next marathon happen. He'll realize it over and over again, during all these grueling months.
Shit, there was even a wicked smirk that passed over his face, gone as quickly as it came. But my cameras caught it. Yeah, he all but asked for it this time. He's a fairly bright guy, for a howler, but Lokko's smarter.
And it isn't like he craves the endless contact. Some of our favorite animals learn to love it. Zack's not on board with that, but his facial expressions are just thrilling. That smirk - well, hey, was he about to play along this time? Anything you need, you frickin' insane tickler, here I am. I sure as hell don't want to be in your clutches, but apparently I'll bust my ass to make it happen again anyway - so how can I make it as easy as possible for you to put me through my paces for the next year? Oh, shit, I can't possibly go through this again, but it's plain as day that I'm gonna. Damn straight. Too late to run now. Another bastard's got me good, and I did my frickin' part to make it happen.
Zack's face looked like he was just about ready to beg for his freedom. Any rookie would. Their mouths don't stop running as they try to comprehend that the door's staying locked, those gloves are somehow alive, the cuffs are for real... But you've heard me rave enough about Zack's history already. This cat didn't say a single word. If any beast should know it's useless to hope for a miracle, right about then...
I can guess what he wanted to say. Aw now, dammit, don't do this to me.
But he already knows, through and through, that it's on now.
I pushed on the wall next to the bathroom door.
His head swiveled quickly.
The corner opened wide. There were big, familiar objects in the darkness...
An old hand like Zack doesn't even flinch when he sees the restraint devices. After enough clues to show him what an expert ol' Lokko is, there just has to be some thick walnut or metal stocks ready and waiting. And sure enough -
"Dammit," he groans, looking down at his boots as he shakes his head. How could I be so stupid? Coming out here...
Then his head comes back up and he squints at the rack, a big padded bench, all the chains and straps and paddles hung up neatly. I had lots of shelves were further back, all covered with neat stuff. Dozens of tools for tickling, all kinds of lubricants. Clearly, the textures that absolutely pulverize him the most are about to be discovered by yet another expert. A pegboard panel further back held a couple rows of sex toys. Everything was already sized to fit him, and a monkey with his track record would expect nothing less.
Numbly checking out the gear, Zack didn't show the least bit of surprise when I made a disposable diaper float toward him.
"Aw, hell," he complained.
By that time I was more than ready for the insanity to begin.
I knew he might put up a fight, so I was ready to rip his clothes off if necessary. Some of his other ticklers had found it pretty easy to get him to cooperate at this point, though, so I did what they suggested.
Zack saw a new pack of cigarettes cruise over to the stool.
Yeah, he definitely relaxed a little. It was very subtle, but I've seen it enough times. With all the suffering he was about to go through - the full-tilt pleasure overload - he was actually glad to see I wasn't going to withhold the simple relief of a smoke. He didn't reach for the diaper, though.
The next thing I brought out was a fat joint.
"This sucks," he said to it.
But the tone of voice was clear. I won again. He finished the cigarette, and his body language suggested he wanted to rip somebody's head off. The butt was slammed defiantly against the floor. My trapped monkey kicked out the smoke with a sound of annoyance. Not this shit again. Aw, hell, here we go.
Tough ol' Zack started unbuckling his belt.
My cameras didn't miss a single second as he stripped down, irritable and unwilling. He snuck another sad look at the blocked doorway. And Zack still didn't object, out loud, because he was caught fair and square. Everything was prepped for a famously ticklish bastard who'd done this all before. There was absolutely no freakin' point in making a ruckus.
I pulled the diaper around him. Oh, yeah, he just hated this shit...and what it said about the intensity that was about to totally rock his world. Maybe later I'd make him watch his movie. I had a great feeling about this video. Maybe my best yet.
Yeah. You just rest up for more, have another smoke - and watch the screen. Walked yourself right in here, dawg.
Now let me thank you again, the hard way, for making it so damn easy.
25nov2011