(Barely any "action" in this one, FYI)
I punch out and hit the door. Take a deep breath - freedom, 'til Monday, anyway - and Denny tumbles out after me. We shoot the shit for a couple seconds... and he leans a little closer, grinning like a partner in crime.
"Kelly. You smoke, right?"
I look at the cigarette in my hand, and at the one he's got goin'. Oh. He means... "Uh-huh." What's he gonna do, hit me up? I don't know him that well, but he's cool.
He nods at me, and reaches into his shirt pocket. Pulls out a joint. Sellin'? Could be. He drives for my company, stops at a lot of warehouses.
"This is for you, K-man. It wants somebody who can really appreciate it. A gift from me to you."
I look at it, and then at him. Goofy smirk on his face. Just another head. "Okay. Sure. Uh, thanks -"
"Enjoy it. Listen, though, it'll kick your ass. I mean it. Take it from me, you wanna fire this bad boy up when you got a couple hours ahead of ya. Totally heavy buzz, Kel. I mean, like, after that first hit be sure you can find the ashtray. It's powerful shit."
"Wow. Okay. Appreciate it."
"Me, I like to get by myself and put the lights down low, set the scene, and do it to it. Killer toke, man." He slaps me on the shoulder and digs out his keys.
"Sounds good. I owe ya one."
"Naaah. Have a good weekend." Denny pats his shirt pocket and chuckles. "I know I will." And he's off to his 'Vette, one cool ride. Waves as he roars past...
I went out to the bar that night, and crashed when I got home.
And actually, I forgot about the doob 'til Saturday night.
So I got myself a cold beer, cracked my knuckles and parked the ashtray by my side.
The joint smelled good. I fired up my lighter - and burned it. Felt okay. I took a big hit and held it... and, after thinking about it, I set the joint in the ashtray. And the beginning of a nice little rush start-
Outside.
What?
Naw, it's like I'm in a big room, suddenly. White marble or something. Empty, except for me. Wow, I think, this is not your typical reefer.
Kelly. Welcome.
I wheel around, but - nobody. The voice is coming from nearby, or just overhead. A little echo, but it's my own voice.
You're high.
"No shit..."
You're also in another place. A different universe. Time passes at a different rate here. When you leave here, you'll return to your apartment, a few minutes after you lit that joint.
"How're you doing that?"
Your thoughts are exposed. Here, the truth is revealed.
"This is wild."
Are you ready to explore the truth, Kelly?
"Uh... What's going on?"
You've slipped out of your reality, and into another.
I look around. "Sure."
It's true.
"O-kay. How'd I get here?"
The joint Denny gave you was treated with a organic substance, similar to highly concentrated mescaline.
Hmmmm. "He didn't say that."
He was told not to.
"Naah."
Yes.
Weirder and weirder. "Why - no, who... told him to - why me?"
Denny gives the chemical to those who are likely to be susceptible to its effects. He does this at the direction of the inhabitants of this universe. They instruct him in the behaviors and reactions that indicate a high probability of an effective outcome, and he evaluates the people he meets. Do you understand?
"Uh. So far." Where's the exit?
Very good. There is an exit... but it is not yet time for you to find it.
"Right -" Wait a minute here, I didn't ask about the exit. Not out loud. "You can read my mind?"
Of course. That is why you're here.
"Fuck this. I -"
Kelly. The more you cooperate, the sooner you will be back in your apartment.
"Cool. I've had enough of this shit."
This first encounter will b-
"Wait. First encounter? As in, you think I'm gonna come back here? Again?"
You will be recalled.
"What?"
When they wish, the inhabitants will bring you back h-
"How the hell are they... uh..."
The chemical you smoked has an affinity for certain nerve receptors in the brain. Your scientists have not discovered this effect yet, but some mystics have. The drug is permanently retained. When it is present and the inhabitants issue the summons, the brain detects... the existence of a route to this universe, and brings you here.
"Permanent? That's impossible. I'm fried, right? I went crazy, is that it?"
No, this is a real place, a physical reality, adjacent to your own. If the results of your examination are suitable, you will convince yourself easily enough. This is not a hallucination, and you are not any less sane than you were an hour ago.
And, somehow, I'm relieved. "Okay. Fuck, then, get on with it. Is this gonna hurt?"
No. This initial examination is not painful.
I snort, and shake my head. "Shoot."
Do not feel obliged to answer these questions out loud. Clarification may be requested. Intelligence is not being measured. The questions are straightforward and will not trick, trap, embarrass or incriminate you. If the examination results are favorable, you will eventually understand why each question was asked.
"Okay already. Get on with it."
The voice pauses for a few seconds. Building up the suspense, maybe.
Number one. What do you need?
"Need?"
Please do not speak. What is your greatest need?
I think, does it mean, like...air?
Yes. Air. What else?
Shifting from one foot to the other, I make a mental list. Water, food, shelter - or a comfortable temperature range... Is sex a need? Sorta. Beer?
Air, water, food, protection from environmental extremes... Then, you appear to be unsure what would be next on your list. There is no incorrect answer.
"I don't know how to... I know what I mean, I jus-"
Perhaps a rephrasing of the question. After air, water, food, shelter - what would you miss the most, if it became unavailable to you?
Cigarettes, I think right away. Ha ha. But not kidding, really.
Cigarettes. What else?
I consider backing off on the smokes, figure what the hell. Before that, I was deciding what to do with sex, and beer. I need... pleasure - No, uh...
"Fun," I mumble.
Fun. Entertainment, before pleasure?
Other way around, I think.
Air, water, food, shelter, cigarettes, pleasure, entertainment. What else do you need?
Excitement. I think this and blush, sorta.
Excitement. What else?
I'm stumped. What do I do now - oh. Sleep.
Understood. Where does it rank in your list?
Uh... before shelter. No, after.
What else?
That's it, I think. Run through the list again. A lot of other wants, but so far as needs go, I think I got it covered. There's another pause.
Two. What do you fear?
Nukes -
As in the first question, the response must reflect your own perspective. While nuclear war is an understandable fear, it is universal. What does Kelly fear? What fears are personal? Possibly even exclusive to you?
Huh. Going broke. Breaking my neck and being paralyzed. Going to prison. Being electrocuted, getting burned in a fire -
Kelly. Your responses are logical, but they are also standardized -
"What do you want? Illogical fears? Nonstandard f-"
Secret. That's probably it.
Yes.
I struggle with it. Something I'm afraid of, way down inside, way too embarrassed to ever tell anybody...
And something comes to me - I jump a little at the thought - and instantly, I can't... remember what I was just scared of.
Please elaborate.
On what? Get more specific, narrow it down? But somehow I understand. Can do. And I'm thinking, but I don't really know what I'm thinking about. My heartbeat has sped up, and adrenaline is flowing. But it's the strangest thing. I'm answering questions and spelling something out, gulping hard, but I don't clue in to what's so frightening. Something wild, and not real likely. That much I can figure. But it's like I don't want to know, even as I'm explaining it. I try to catch the topic, but I can't. And I just let it go. Oh well.
The room...
It all changes.
A different place, now.
It's... a dungeon.
I look up - and see the manacles locked around my wrists. Keeping my arms up. Some kind of rack -
My ankles are trapped too. All of my clothes are gone, except for a ragged pair of underwear.
Kelly. That secret fear of yours - would it be...
And it blinks into existence, just over my belly.
...this?
A big, white feather.
"No," I bark. Way too loud. Lying.
It wiggles, and starts moving toward my belly... just as I realize there's no possibility of any other outcome.
And the soft feel of it - that first airy impression - is everything I knew it would be. I hiss quickly, tensing up out of reflex, uselessly, not ready at all for the thrilling shock that slams through my whole fuckin' body.
21apr02