"I thought maybe you wouldn't remember," Gloves said.
"Not a chance," Restraints shot back. "Two years ago today..."
"What a partnership."
"Yeah."
A bottle of mink oil was tilted, pouring a little onto a soft cloth. Leather fingers wrapped the cloth around the edge of a cuff and continued polishing.
"Mmmmmmm..."
"Lookin' good, there."
"I've never had anybody take such good care of my components."
"I'll bet you say that to all the gloves."
They chuckled. "Can you believe it's been two years?"
"No," Gloves said. "I can't. Where does the time go?"
"How many dudes have we entertained?"
"Nineteen," the answer came immediately. And a wistful sigh followed... because the table was empty. Nobody there to play with. It was easy enough for them to rectify that situation - they worked together so well, it was scary. They never let too much time go by, but their mood was a little subdued when there wasn't a captive in their grasp.
Restraints twitched the end of a strap. "Uh, are you sure? I thought it was twenty."
"I'm sure -"
"Are you counting that pro wrestler?"
Gloves finished oiling the inside of the ankle-cuff. "Now, Restraints, we've never caught a pro wrestler."
"Yes we have."
"No -"
"Look outside."
A blindfold gestured extravagantly toward the back door.
"What..."
Fingers rushed through the air. The knob turned, and the old hinges creaked - "Why, Restraints! You got me a jock!"
"Drugged, and sleeping like a baby," Restraints crowed. "Ready for some championship tickling."
Gloves dragged him inside, and locked the door. Four black hands hung over him, as if it couldn't decide where to start on him. Then it started to giggle...
"Why are you laughing? That's his job -"
"You're not going to believe this," Gloves said wonderingly.
"Believe what?"
"Check out the storeroom."
"Huh?" But a few straps cruised over, flipped the deadbolt handle - and pushed... "Oh wow!"
"I know!" Gloves whooped.
"A gangbanger? Oh, yeah! You didn't have to... aw. You shouldn't have." Straps curled around his ankles and pulled him out.
"You either."
"Oooo. Nice legs. I'm going to like holding these legs down."
"Not to mention these," Gloves said, picking up one of the wrestler's bulging arms. Restraints chuckled in a most sinister way.
"This is hilarious."
"I know. We both got each other a captive."
"Uh-huh..."
They considered the table. It was wide, but not big enough for two dudes at the same time.
Then they looked at the sleeping men, already locked in. How to choose?
No. That was just impossible.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Restaints said quietly.
"Yeah." Gloves went to the storeroom...
"Do we have a mattress - you know - big enough?"
"Well... I guess we'll have to make it work."
"Or..."
"Or what?"
Restraints cruised over to the table. A strap pointed, off the foot-end. "One there -"
"Ah. Alright." Gloves pulled out a titanium rack. "Yeah. Park one here, angled... so he can see."
"Watch."
"And maybe mirrors, for the one on the table." They both laughed. "Wouldn't be fair, otherwise. Yeah. They both get to watch."
"Watch each other."
"Uh-huh."
The base of the rack was assembled and bolted down...
"Ten on, fourteen off?" Restraints suggested happily.
"Sure. After we welcome them properly."
"Thoroughly."
"Very thorough."
"This is gonna be great. When they're not feeling the burn, both at the same time, they can watch the other guy gettin' it."
"If they can stay awake," Gloves agreed. "Ten hours is a long time."
"And one of 'em will always be... overly happy."
"I like the sound of that."
"So do I."
A glove dug into the street-rat's pockets. "Uh-oh. Isn't this illegal?" Fingers waved a baggie...
"Bad boy. We're gonna have to teach him a lesson."
"They'll both know it, by the time we're through with 'em. Get stoned, you get more ticklish."
"Oh yeah."
Gloves pulled a quarter out of the wrestler's jeans. "Heads, weightlifter. Tails, criminal. You pick who goes where."
"Okay."
"Call it." The coin tumbled high into the air.
"Tails!" Restraints barked. Clattering, the quarter finally stopped moving.
"Tails it is."
"Start him on the rack."
"That's very generous of you."
Cuffs started moving in on the wrestler. "We want him secure, when we wear him out. The first time. Make things real clear."
"My thought exactly." Gloves reached down and pulled off enormous cowboy boots.
"Let me at those ankles!" Restraints cackled. "I'll show him who's boss -"
"Hold on," and the fingers whipped off one sock, then another. The cuffs pounced...
"Up you go, buddy." Straps looped around his wrists, and the wrestler swung up to the table.
"This is going to be so much fun," Gloves said, pulling his shirt off. Twenty members of its crew started undressing the thug.
"Yeah... There. Just try and move now, captive. Prepare to laugh."
Gloves picked up the gangbanger and laid him on the supporting pads. Then it lifted the main body of the rack, with its valuable cargo, and set it into position. Bolts were shoved into their places, and the calfskin fingers tightened the nuts down...
"And cuffs for you, my little pothead," Restraints said, putting them on his wrists. "Plenty to go around. We don't want anyone feeling left out here."
"Like that's gonna happen," Gloves said ominously. After a second, they both laughed again...
As the straps were doubled up, bottles of oil were brought out and opened.
"All set -"
"Hey. Check out the stoner," Gloves said quietly.
"He's waking up."
"Uh-huh. Should I start in on him now... or wait?"
Restraints thought it over. "Both at once, I say. Simultaneously. Boom. I dosed the jock pretty light. He should be coming around any time now."
"Good."
"And then, watch out."
"Oh, yeah. Two at once. This is gonna be sweet."
"They're in good hands," Restraints joked.
"And they're gonna stick around."
"You bet they are. Pulling so desperately, snapping -"
"Check out that expression."
"Priceless." The gangbanger was starting to tug at his bonds. "What an optimist."
"And say hello to contestant number two," Gloves snorted. "Welcome to the show."
"A born performer."
The captives stared at each other.
Behind them, Gloves picked up the oil bottles.
Fingers flexed eagerly. The straps tightened a little bit more...
"Ready?"
"So ready," Restraints agreed.
"This is going to be the best anniversary ever."
"Uh-huh... Go!"
Oil crawled down the dudes' chests, and the dark hands flew.
18oct2002