"Hello?" Kel said to the windshield. He didn't know what response to expect, and he had no personal experience with the Backs. "I know you're in here."
To prove that, and because it seemed smart and safe right then, he pulled into the liquor store parking lot. Fingertips seemed to have landed on his forehead - an invisible hand, apparently.
This was a first for Kel. The Backs had been around since Riddles, California was a hippie commune - sixty years or so. They loved to tickle dudes. Needed to tickle, or so they said. Most places didn't have official volunteers to keep 'em off everybody else. The town's board members were replaced by their kids, and then their grandkids... and the agreement with the Backs was left in place.
"Emerrr...gency," a guy's voice slurred. It sounded weak. There was another hand curling around the back of his neck. That one seemed shaky.
It looked like the store was closed, and nobody was anywhere near. "Grab on," he said to the windshield, nodding.
More hands took hold of his arms, thighs... and belly. Two on each side.
Oh shit, he thought. It was only a matter of time until they got me. The Backs who built the laugh-jail were into volunteers. Either this wasn't a local Back, or it could be that it was lying about the emergency.
The hands pressed down. This made sense only if the Back was damn near out of energy. "Hey," he said uncertainly, regretting the invitation he'd just made.
"I have to," the voice said - clearer, though it sounded... meek.
"No, you don't," he chuckled.
That disrespectful laugh was the last voluntary one he kicked out.
The hands slid down his ribs, squeezed, and traveled back up. Others were tickling too, but his first priority was cackling loud and hard. His sandals were being yanked off!
Many more hands pinned his forearms, lower legs and waist.
The Back eased out a seriously relieved sigh.
Then the car was moving. His attention was on the invisible hands that were locked around his ankles... so others could scritch all around his toes and the soles of his feet.
Struggling wasn't getting him loose. The hands were too fuckin' strong. Vaguely aware he was being taken in the opposite direction on the street, Kel had to throw his head back and roar like a biker. Feet, sides, tummy, pits, knees. Oh, wow.
He was fading out. Fingers were crafty on his junk. Under and around, no rush...
The car door was open, but Kel was too damn worn out to overpower the unseen hands holding him down. Other cars were around, and a couple of motorcycles. Parking garage.
This had to be the laugh-jail. Stop, he wanted to yell, I am not volunteering for this. Trying to get the words out was beyond him, though. So was walking, right then.
The hands picked him up and carried him out of the car.
A dark metal door was open. Wasting no time, the Back got him inside, down the hall, right turn, left turn -
Padded room.
Straps and cuffs were rising up. His clothes were being torn off...
He was barely able to shake his head.
The door swung in. Whoosh.
He was stripped and anchored to a padded bench. The straps were thick.
"Didn't vuh... volunteer," he managed.
The gloves slowed down, but the fucker didn't stop tickling. "You said, 'grab on.' So I did." The Back sounded... stronger. Amused.
Practical joker, Kel thought vacantly. "No... you s-said... emergency. Like you just had t-to... grab me."
"I did. And here we are. Tickle-dungeon." Quiet laughter. "It is an emergency. I'll explain later. And I'll tell you the truth."
He thought for a few seconds. "Oh. Shit."
"Yeah."
"I wanna n-not be here."
"You mean, butt-naked and pinned to a tickle-bench?"
"Here. At all."
"Much less chance of you hurting yourself if you're strapped down, pal."
"I want to go. Tell me where my car is, so I -"
"You got an appointment? Somewhere else?"
He wrestled with that question, and sighed. "N-no."
"We're cleaning your car seats."
"Huh?"
"You pissed yourself."
"Fuck!"
"Within a couple of minutes. A real good sign. We've got clean stuff here - decent jeans, you know it."
"I don't wanna go... t-through this."
"Grab on," it teased. "That's what you said to me. And there's more good news - nobody saw us roll in. No people, anyway." The Back chuckled. "You didn't get forcibly taken to the laugh-jail, Kel. Of course not. Is your car tucked in our private parking garage? Aw, no way," and apparently it had to laugh then, with a more devious tone.
"Kidnapper. Who are you?"
"Oh. Wait..." A glove grabbed his chin, and the others paused in the tickling. Whew. "I'm Thonner. Between you and me, yeah. Sounds nuts, I bet, that it was you or hibernation, but my hunger just wouldn't wait another minute -"
"Bullshit."
"No appointments, out there," the phantom gloated. "Got me an honest one. I'll stick with the truth too. Yup. You have a great rep, dude. Didn't know that when I snagged you, but I got filled in on the way here."
"Great. Just great."
"It is. Ooooh, Backs around here have been waiting for this chance. You're a helper-animal. Gotta win you over, dude, so you sign up f-"
"You can't be a local. Get me outa here." Some guys did learn to like this shit.
"Nope. You saved me from shutdown. Involuntary hibernation. And I like what you got. I'll explain later. Gimme some feeeeed-back!"
Portable buffers zoomed down. Pits, neck, pecs... taint.
He kicked out smoke. It was reassuring, somehow, since he was still strapped down. Ain't done with me yet, he thought, groaning softly.
"You are just what I needed," Thonner said - sounding so relieved.
"Now I'm smokin'," he muttered.
"Well, I got me a rescuer who's damn glad to smoke, so I -"
"Still. Oh, fine, okay. Why do you need a rescuer?"
"Uh... why didn't I jump a volunteer? They're gone, for now. A group from another town is apparently trying to protect them. They got a lead deputy who doesn't like us too much."
"So," he finally said, "I guess you couldn't... get energized until you got to me."
"Basically, yeah. I panicked, Kel. It's gonna take a lot to make this up to you."
"Let me go?"
"Too tired to drive now, bunky. You can barely smoke."
"So I can sleep here. Right?"
"Sure!"
He waited to hear more. "And then you can dig in again. And some other Backs, dammit!... who are fighting not to hibernate."
After a pause, Thonner snickered.
"Aw, hell," he sighed.
"They never do shit like this here, to you dudes," it said earnestly, "but... we need it. Time-sensitive. Be glad we stick to volunteers, buddy. Uh, usually. Looks like we'll have 'em back soon."
"Alright. Then I can go."
The quiet laughter he heard next was fairly sinister.
"C'mon."
"You're so much fun, Kel. One of the guys who helped - who stood up for us."
He gulped, regretting what the tickler meant - taking a stand his senior year of high school, in their defense. "I know the Backs in most other places do this shit to anybody. And I get that. You're, uh, bigger. But dammit. Whooooh. If some guys like this, go snag them."
"Soon as I can."
"Not me -"
It hooted at him. "Not too many hot prospects say shit like, uh, 'grab on.' So..." An amused whoop. "But I won't hide behind that... excellent choice of words, dude."
"Yet I'm in for more of the same. So screwed."
"We need it bad today. Most of the Backs here."
"And if I say no, if I demand that you lay off me -"
Smutty laughter! "You need some rest more than I need your energy right now. And then, hoo hoo hoo."
"Can't believe this."
"Damn near everybody says that. But you're here, and I'm here. Hang in there, it'll be way too much fun."
"Shit..."
He woke up after a couple hours of sleep...
"How are you doing, Kel?" A different voice.
He pulled at the restraints. "Been better. I got dragged in here."
"What?"
"I didn't want this," and he set his head back down, not too hopeful.
"But you're here," it finally chuckled.
"C'mon. I already said -"
A pair of greased-up gloves floated off the bed. They inflated, looking muscular. Full of energy. "Thonner has taped you sayin' otherwise."
"Huh? No!"
"Video of you. You're grinning like a fool! Telling it to make the tickling a lot more intense. Mega-tickling. And you agree that you invited it to grab you. Nodding bigtime. Looked like proof to me."
He thought he'd been imagining a camera - wasn't there more than one camera? - but the damn captor paused the tickling for a little while after he... said stuff. "I didn't... Aw, fuck. Listen to me, whoever you are. I was out of it. It didn't do right by me. Lemme go!"
"I'm Rollatic. So you don't volunteer... for what we need."
"No!"
"That video says otherwise," the Back shot back. "Tricksy. Thonner is from Vegas. They just grab any guy down there."
At least ten more gloves were filled up.
"What the hell," he said to the new contingent.
"Take a guess," this tickler sighed happily.
"Oh, no."
"We got Kel. On video, demanding it. I have been waiting for this..."
All of the lubed fingers came to his package, sides, knees, neck - and feet.
Kel discovered he had a cigarette. Gloves were still coasting here and scritching there, but laughter was not possible. Blown away. He took a drag, oddly glad to be smoking.
"There he is," Rollatic said. It sounded sneaky. Conspiratorial.
"Let me outa here."
"Naaaah. You demanded this."
"The video?"
"And in your car. Grab on." Sly laughter.
He wanted to argue, but the phantom's gloves could pick up the pace in no time. "I can't... handle... h-how much you're... doing this."
"Tickling?"
That called for a few weak chuckles as a piss-poor response.
"Only gettin' started on you," it teased.
"This c-can't go on," he ordered. Then they both laughed. "Feelin' it more. No end in sight, dammit."
"You have no idea how much more you can feel. I mean that."
"Nooooooh."
"And you, sir, are reeeeally close to diggin' it."
"What?"
"Eating it up. I won you over."
"Aw, get the fuck outa h-"
"Yeeeeeup. You'll see. Armpit time, dude. Solid coverage. Heh heh."
2022