(No "action" in this one, FYI)
He stood nervously on the porch...
Yurge was blown away. It signaled Nake - come out to the living room, not a crisis but you've really gotta see this.
"Aw, shit," Nake sighed.
The guy was holding a decent-sized box. Somehow he'd scrounged up a brown baseball cap and shirt...
"You got a fan," Yurge laughed.
"Not likely. What's he doing here?"
"Couldn't get enough. Street's clear. No eyes on him."
"Shit. Uh -"
"Double 'em up in the big bedroom?" Yurge said, "Or do him right in here."
Nake sighed. "Yeah. Guess so."
It opened the door before his knuckles made contact with it -
And whisked him inside.
Strong hands took the box away, clamped over his mouth and pulled him down to the couch.
"One loud noise," Nake said, "and I'll get the duct tape. You got me?"
He nodded.
It let go of his cheeks.
"What the hell, little dude," it complained.
The visitor looked around for the source of Nake's voice, and studied the invisible grips pinning his arms. "So it was real."
Yurge chuckled - audibly, making him scan the room again. "Well, this is a first."
"My chain," he gulped, starting to squirm in Nake's grip. "You g-got my chain. Necklace."
The ticklers chuckled quietly.
"Bullshit artist, huh?" Yurge said privately.
"He wasn't enjoying it that much," Nake groaned. "How the hell did he find this place? I dumped him over by the park."
"Is he worth it?"
"Yeah. Long-haul potential, alright."
"Unbelievable. They're coming to you now."
"If he'd pulled this shit next week..." Nake squeezed his arms a little harder, then relaxed the grip. "Kid."
He looked up from the carpet. Cowed, doubtful. "Yeah?"
"Wanna beer?"
Relief fairly oozed out of him. "S-sure."
"You got guts," Yurge said. "Gotta give you that."
"It's a special necklace," he said looking around again. "To me."
A cold bottle of MGD came flying over -
When he saw a pack of smokes following behind, the look in his eyes was unmistakable.
Nake pulled the hands away, cuffing him gently alongside the head. It shook a cigarette out of the pack and handed it to him. "What's so special about it? You just walk right up and interrupt us. Damn."
He was digging rather frantically for his lighter. "I'm sorry. I hoped - uh, maybe you weren't here right now," he said, making the cigarette bob. "Sneak in, grab it, get out."
"Really," Nake said. The kid couldn't lie worth a damn.
"Just bizarre," Yurge chuckled.
"Didn't peg you for the suicidal type," Nake said.
The kid was in a big hurry to light up. It was like looking at the classic example of human enjoyment, the way he tugged on that thing.
Nake and Yurge exchanged growls of surprise. Yeah, there was no way he could be permitted to just stroll out of here now and be on his way...
"What's in the box?" Yurge teased.
He closed his eyes, jetting smoke out of his nostrils. "Old newspapers."
"Of course."
"Hey," Nake said, to get him to look over to his right. The necklace hung in midair. "Was this really worth it? What's coming to you now?"
He stared at the chain, looking properly worried at what he'd just heard. Took another drag - with a shakier hand - and nodded. He reached toward the pendant.
Nake brought it to his hand.
"Beer's getting warm," it said quietly.
The ticklers switched back to nonaudible speech. "I've got a good rhythm going with these two gorillas," Nake said.
"I'm in the groove, too, with my frat boys."
"But he's not getting away with this."
"Street kid," Yurge said thoughfully. "These clothes. Dirt and grass stains on his ass. Slept outside last night."
"Dammit! So... we tie him to the couch. Make him wait for a room, drill his ass whenever we've got a free minute."
"Fine. Or - or you could let a rookie have him," Nake said, "until you're inclined to teach him a lesson."
"That's better. Yeah." It watched him drink the beer, and relax into the couch a little. Smoking hard. "Dumbass."
It sent out a message to Blatester.
"How're they hanging, brah?" it greeted Nake.
"Snug and suffering. Hey, if I sent a young shithead over your way, do you think one of those new grads could do him? We're full up, here."
"Sounds like he's already kicked back with you before. Am I right? Prime goods?"
"Yup. He's a keeper. Just need someone to keep him busy for awhile, and then they can dump him back here."
"When you say 'awhile,' pardner -"
"I don't care," Nake chuckled. "Long as they want. He just can't be walkin' around loose right now, and I have unfinished business with these goons here."
"Alright... Yeah. I tipped off a zealous junior partner while you were describing this poor bastard. He's got a reservation now."
"You're the best. I owe you one."
"Gonna take you up on that. Need a pickup?"
"Uh... No. He wants to work for it, apparently, so I'll make him walk over. Thin sucker, white, nineteen, brown cap and brown shirt. Smokin' like a freight train. Let's make it... uh, about forty-five minutes from now?"
Blatester hummed for a second or two. "Yeah. Jelder is on it - and says thank you very much, oldtimer."
"Huh. Well, I don't want this asshole running free until he's been taught a little more respect. Some discretion."
"Oh, I'd say you can count on Jelder."
"That's good enough, comin' from you. Later on, then."
"Yup."
"I like it," Yurge said. It had been monitoring the discussion with Blatester. "He's gonna think he got away, and - boom. Hang-time in another cell. And then, boom, he's gonna wake up back here."
"That'll show him."
They watched him light another smoke.
"So," Nake announced, "You wanna tell me why you're really here?"
"I, uh -"
"Missed it that much? The workout?"
He cringed nice and big. So that wasn't it. "No, no, I didn't - just please don't - do that again. I do not want to..."
Then he shut up. It seemed the truth was finally dawning on him, and he didn't know how to deal with it.
"You're starting to piss me off," Nake told him. "Let's cut to the freakin' chase. You came to our door because you wanted to get this stupid necklace. And you hoped we wouldn't be around. Just gonna sneak in, like a thief."
He nodded slowly, clearly keeping a lookout for incoming gloves or rope.
"That isn't the whole deal, and I'm giving you one more chance to tell me. And that's it. You say you don't miss the tickling, but you're obviously holding something back. I ain't gonna ask you again."
"It's from my mom," he blurted. "The necklace." His eyes looked around wildly. "I really did... My dad kicked me out."
"And?"
Boy, did he look embarrassed. "I've been looking for a job, I mean really trying, and it's just not happening."
"Aaaaaw," Yurge taunted.
"I'm serious. If I just had a place to... c-crash, with a shower, it would..." He looked up. "This was a really stupid idea. I'm sorry I interrupted your, uh, your stuff."
Nake sighed.
"Tell me how you knew which house we're in," it ordered quietly.
"The flag," he said immediately. "Out of the window I saw a Marines flag. Across the street. Round black ball on top of a silver pole. When I was in the... swingy thing, laughing my guts out. You carried me back to the bench, or something, and when I was getting lifted out I, uh, happened to look down. Saw a house number. 516. It seemed real important to - uh, memorize it."
"Well, I'll be dipped," Yurge said.
"And you just walked down every street in the city?" Nake taunted.
He took another drag, clearly needing it. Shook his head. "Library. There's a map on the computer. I woke up in the park, so I started with a one-mile radius -"
"Gettin' sloppy, brah," Yurge teased Nake.
"Shut up."
"There were only, like, eight houses with that number. Didn't find the flagpole, so I went back and bumped the map out to two miles. That gave me nineteen more streets." He looked down worriedly. "And this was number thirteen on the list."
Yurge whistled softly.
Nake was impressed, although annoyed. "Well, you're right. That was an incredibly stupid idea."
"I know."
"You're not cut out for this life. On the streets." He nodded slowly. "You'd adapt, but not before getting hurt pretty good. Or addicted to something stupid."
"Say that," Yurge agreed.
"I spend a week torturing you, and you walk up and down a couple dozen streets to find me again? Not even a month passes and you forget how crazy I made you... Nope. Okay. I see. It was that wad of money I shoved in your pocket. All gone now, of course. You actually came back here 'cause of the inmate-discharge cash I always dole out."
"No," he said defensively. "It wasn't - nothing's worth t-that."
"Well, dammit -"
"Nake. I got it," Yurge said.
It sent a finger to poke their visitor in the chest.
He jumped nicely and stared at his shirt...
"How long ago did your dad kick you out?"
"March. When the snow melted."
Yurge squeezed his right shoulder, making him wriggle out of the grip. "We got everything here, Nake. Steak dinners. Gotta keep 'em fueled up. The beer keeps coming, the weed. A carton of smokes dropping on the table. This kid hasn't ever had it that good."
The visitor opened his mouth, and shut it tight. Embarrassed.
Blushing!
"Dammit. That's not our problem," Nake said privately.
"It explains the shitty teeth. Even so - this could be a hell of an opportunity, though. He searched for you. And not because he loves to be tickled! Gonna tell me you're not flattered? I mean, shit, our buddies are never gonna believe this."
"He just volunteered for a world of hurt."
"And he hasn't even figured it out yet," Yurge laughed. "The kid's just hungry. Out of smokes."
"Well... not anymore," Nake said darkly.
"Alright," it told him, "clearly it's no accident that I spotted you. It took stones to tape up a box, and get yourself a little brown hat, and walk up those steps. Let's see how this plays out."
"Really?" he said. "I'd - look, I could just go now and quit bothering you -"
Yurge whooped with glee. "Way too late to rethink it now, hotshot."
"Oh."
"You know where you are," Nake said. "There's four other guys here who would love it if you blabbed. Shot your mouth off."
"I wouldn't do that," he promised.
"Oh, I know you won't. There's a real ugly future waiting if you even try. Bread and water, gruel - and forget about ever smoking anything."
"I promise, I won't talk, really, I won't..." He was getting a new mental picture, and it seemed to be a scary one.
"Huh."
"I don't wanna get tickled again."
There was a pause.
Yurge finally started to snicker.
He looked around with big, hopeless eyes. "Oh, crap."
"You may not want it," Nake growled, "but are you gonna get tickled again?"
The visitor sagged.
"Answer me."
"Y-yeah."
"Yeah, what?"
Gulp. "You're gonna tickle me again."
"Damn right I am."
He took a deep breath and nodded.
"I'm getting inspired, myself," Yurge said happily.
"I - oh, no. Just great."
"Hey," Yurge teased, "you walked right back to our door. Don't act so surprised."
"Do me a solid," Nake asked privately. "Show him how to nuke those frozen burgers. Get something in his belly - my big ape's awake again. I want a few minutes to drill his ass and put him back under."
"Go get him," Yurge said. Then, to the visitor, "Alright, move it. To the kitchen."
"Uh - okay."
"Asshole," Nake growled - grabbing his arm and pulling him to his feet. It sent a big, invisible hand to slap him on the ass. "Move it."
He devoured five of the little burgers in no time. Pounded back another beer...
"Better?" Nake asked, as it came into the kitchen.
"Much," he sighed. "Thanks."
It lifted the last burger, pulled a paper towel off the roll and wrapped it up. Motion from the doorway caught his eye -
A few things slid across the table.
There was no mistaking his relief at seeing two packs of cigarettes. Nake stuck the new pack in his back pocket and let him stash the open pack he'd been burning through. It brought a well-worn Zippo up to his breastbone. Flicked it open, fired it up. "This is my crest," it said, snapping the lid shut and showing him the engraving on the case. "You don't wanna lose this. Says you're m- uh, that you work for me."
Yurge laughed a few times. It murmured, just for Nake's benefit, "I see nice, big ownership-tats in his future."
Nake confirmed that, silently. "Now if you're not carrying this... uh, until I tell you not to, there will be punishment. You know what kind."
He nodded quickly, taking the lighter.
A twenty-dollar bill cruised up to his shirt pocket. Nake shoved it in there roughly. "And this envelope has to go to 2220 Broadway." It picked up the red Sharpie and grabbed his left wrist. He watched the address get written on his palm. "You will not open the envelope. Or lose it. If you do... you're gonna get punished."
"Tell me that's stuffed with blank paper," Yurge said privately.
"You know me so well," Nake fired back.
"Is there some, uh, name I should ask for?" the kid asked.
"You won't have to go inside. They'll be watching. Keep your hat on."
"Delivery boy," Yurge sassed.
He grinned nervously, looking down at the floor. "I'll go right there. 2220 Broadway."
"You do that," Nake sighed. It stuck the envelope down his shirt, and handed him the last burger. "Now get a move on, before I yank those ratty shoes off and start scrubbing the funk off your feet again."
"Yessir," he said immediately, walking quickly to the front door.
The ticklers locked the door as soon as he was off the porch.
"Where'd you get that address?" Yurge asked.
"Made it up. There's no way he'll make it to 19th before the rookie grabs him."
"We did good," Yurge said. "Another ticklish animal gets his due, and we still have a house full of delirious losers."
"That was weird. Like he's supposed to be on permanent rotation."
"Works for me. I sorta like the whole 'employee' angle. Twist him up real good."
They chuckled, and went back to the prisoners who were waiting for more fun.
10-Sep-2012